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Sex Lies
Hello, we learn from the Bible that we're not to be corrupted by the world.James 1:27 GNT What God the Father considers to be pure and genuine religion is this: to take care of orphans and widows in their suffering and to keep oneself from being corrupted by the world. The enemy wants you to be corrupted by the world though. So there are many lies the world tells you to corrupt you. We're going to focus on two lies about sex in this article. There is the lie that you need to sleep around to test the waters to find someone sexually compatible. And there is the lie that a man needs to have premarital sex to practice so he will be skilled on his wedding day.
We'll start this article off by stating an important fact about forgiveness. If you've slept around in the past, don't feel like you're less of a person. We all make mistakes and Jesus forgives us of every sin. God declares us pure and holy the moment we ask for forgiveness. The trick is not back sliding and sinning again. If we sin again, we can ask for forgiveness and be pure again. We should not use this as an excuse to not try to be pure moving forward. It is a sin to take lightly the system of grace that forgives you. Try to avoid sin, but if you fail, God will forgive you.
For many, getting to marriage as a virgin is an important goal. I applaud them for trying this. A good Christian should aim to have no sex before marriage. It is a difficult thing to do and you must have great faith to do it. For this reason, for better or worse, Christians are encouraged to marry young. The key is that while you're trying to get to your marriage without losing your virginity, we should shouldn't judge others who have. There are people who will not marry anyone except a virgin. I'm not going to hit this part so hard, but I think we shouldn't judge other people so harshly if they haven't retained their virginity. Jesus forgives, so should we. I understand how some people hold onto their own preconceived notions of what they want. If marrying a virgin is something that you absolutely need for personal reasons outside the Bible, that is fine.
I am going to restate, getting to marriage as a virgin is an important goal. The Bible talks about adultery as if you can commit it even if you're not married. Matthew 5: 27 "You have heard that it was said, "Do not commit adultery.' 28 But now I tell you: anyone who looks at a woman and wants to possess her is guilty of committing adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your right eye causes you to sin, take it out and throw it away! It is much better for you to lose a part of your body than to have your whole body thrown into hell. 30 If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away! It is much better for you to lose one of your limbs than to have your whole body go off to hell. Now Jesus isn't saying to physically maul yourself. That is forbidden in the Old Testament and against even human nature to do. Jesus means to not walk by a woman's door who tempts you, tactics like getting rid of porn, or whatever causes you to sexually sin. Stop sin before you engage in it. I believe adultery is something an unmarried person can do. For after all, they're cheating on their future spouse. And you can't be sure the person you're with will be married until they've said "I do" under an altar.
Not only is getting to marriage with virginity a big deal, so is for those who have lost their virginity to try to not to have sex before marriage. We're all in the same boat. You don't lose your virginity for whatever reason and quit. You push on and try to be pure until marriage from that time on.
The lie that we're to sleep around to find someone sexually compatible is a lie that goes against what God has called us to do. You know it is a lie because it is contrary to what God wants. The lie is alluring though because it is hard enough to resist sex before marriage if your significant other is pressuring you strongly. If you think they might be right, you can cave into sex easily. The lie is an argument. It is saying a lot of things.
First it is saying,"This is a relationship test. If we pass this, we're made for each other." Romantic people love relationship tests. They want to see that their love for each other is burning. In their hearts they know they can get over anything that is thrown at them, but they want proof. This is how one person might fall into this lie.
Another thing this lie says is,"Why waste our time on a marriage if it turns out we can't have sex properly together. " This sounds reasonable if you don't think about it. A wedding costs a lot of money and takes people's time. "If you turn out to be sexually incompatible, well that'd end up in a divorce" is what the lie is trying to say. People who hold off sex until marriage normally are happy with their decision though.
Another thing it says is that marriage hinges on the sex part. While sex is a great part of marriage, it isn't the most important. The most important part about marriage is spending time with the spouse you love.
The other lie is similar. The lie states that a man needs practice to get good at sex. This lie is easy to debunk because sex isn't difficult, and anyone can do it. What is more important than having sex a lot is keeping your body in shape. You should be out exercising and getting your body in shape. When you're in shape, you have a better stamina and you're more attractive to your spouse. If you want to get good at sex, work out more.
Remember some people who throw these around are people who aren't sure how they feel about the relationship themselves. They might want an excuse to get out of a relationship, and at least try and get sex before they leave. Another person might have no intention of ever marrying and just wants you to lead a life of unmarried sex. There might be the misguided who actually believe the lie they're telling you, and they should be educated that it is a lie so your relationship can remain healthy.
-Jim Sager