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"Keeping the Pendulum of Truth & Grace Level"
The day before yesterday I was listening to my local Christian radio station on my car, and one of the shows had a particularly intriguing discussion going about complementing truth with grace and vice versa. In case any of you are curious, the show is called "Chris Fabry Live" and down here in Florida they run the show on Moody Radio (89.3 FM). Prior to listening to the show I had a pretty good idea of what both truth and grace were, but I do not think I ever paired them together thinking that each would play a crucial role in a plethora of situations Christians face. Often times individuals will lean towards one side or another when attempting to correct someone or in sympathizing with their circumstances. Although I do believe that truth is an essential part of Christian living, it is clear that sometimes we need to be sympathetic and understanding with the people that we interact with. Sometimes I see people who have legitimate points and actually trying to help someone to improve in their lives will get brushed off or ignored. This is usually because they simply didn't express the truth in a manner that was conducive to a positive reaction. On the other side of this spectrum there are people who might be good at hearing someone's situation/problem and showering them with grace, but failing to also elaborate on the truth of the matter that they likely need to hear. In a perfect world we would all be able to express both grace and truth in a manner that harmoniously exemplifies Christ-like love, understanding, and genuine good-will towards our fellow neighbors. Although it is apparent that no one apart from Christ is capable of doing this in a perfect manner, we can all strive to improve on our approach to such cases and try our best to address them in a manner that takes both aspects into account. I would venture to say that the cases are few and far in between, if at all, where 100% truth without any grace or 100% grace without any truth would get the job done and resolve a problem or conflict. If you incorporate both in a similar measure you can substantially increase the chances that the person in question will respond positively and hopefully act in a preferable way. Keep in mind that the preferable way I speak of is not one that is most beneficial to you specifically, but rather a way that genuinely takes their best interests into consideration and adheres to the truth found in God's word. This doesn't mean that you will only tell them what they would like to hear or to exempt them from any consequences from their actions that are in question, but rather to share the truth in a loving way that extends grace and mercy in their direction. Whether or not they react in a way that you would expect or not is up to them, but if you maintain that all these elements are in place you are at least setting up favorable chances for an optimal outcome. In the end that is what we would all like to do, and hope that the situation resolves itself in time.
A noteworthy point that was mentioned on Fabry's radio broadcast was about love. Love can mean a variety of different things and may be interpreted in various ways depending on relationship, context, and several other variables. The point I wanted to touch on though, which Fabry elaborated on in his show, was that sometimes true love might not look like love in certain instances. Some people might call this tough love, and occasionally you hear phrases tossed around along the lines of: "The truth hurts." For example, sometimes when we are dealing with individuals that may be involved in some sort of addiction - we might not be acting in a loving way when we try to help them get rid of the vice that they are struggling with, but in the long run they may realize that you're simply trying to help them to avoid destructive behavior. Whether it be alcohol abuse, pornography, or drugs to name a few examples - most of us can agree that it is beneficial to get rid of these strongholds rather than indulge in the behavior. Giving in to this sort of habitual sin only serves to feed the flames of addiction, and would cause it to become more difficult to get rid of the addiction when in the future they may try to quit. One would hope that in the long run the person would understand that the tough love you might be showing them in standing firm against the addictive behavior were not done to intentionally keep them from things they enjoy, but rather in order to help them overcome the behavior before it is too late.
Although I am not a big fan of sugar coating the truth, sometimes I believe it can be helpful to choose our words carefully and try our best to consider the other persons point of view before being quick to condemn their actions. When Jesus talks to us in Matthew 7:1-5 (V*1) about judgment we should not take His words for granted. He is essentially suggesting that we be careful when we try to correct the wrong doings of others, and avoid judging one another too harshly. Often we may be quick to judge them, but suffer in similar or more substantial ways than they do with certain sins. Whenever I mention a sin like pornography, I am usually quick to disclose that I have had my share of struggles with this behavior myself and do not claim it to be easily overcome. We need to become better at empathizing with other sinners. Not only are we ourselves failing to fully account for our own sinful lifestyles, but we also fail to see that different people have different sets of strengths and weaknesses. I might be easily able to resist drug abuse and alcoholism, but have struggled in an area like compulsive gambling in the past. Another individual might be my polar opposite and gambling isn't even remotely tempting to him/her, but they could never stop at just one drink. We need to improve in realizing that we aren't all wired the same way and we need to put ourselves in their shoes before judging them hastily. Circumstances may also play a crucial role and are also something that shouldn't be over-looked. There are times when someone may have a tough living environment or a circle of friends that they are having a hard time distancing themselves from that keep causing them to stumble. It sure is easy for us to point our finger from a distance and harp on about their mistakes, but when was the last time we thought to consider how much of the problem they have genuinely brought upon themselves.
The reality of life is that God has given each and everyone of us not only different strengths and weaknesses but also varying gifts, talents, and resources as well. We should strive to do the best we can with our current situation, and although we shouldn't become complacent and lazy - there should be a certain level of fulfillment present in our lives that shows God we are content with all the blessings He has given us. What is the point of focusing on the areas where someone else may seem to be ahead of you? Furthermore, why do we tend to spend so much time specifically comparing ourselves to other people around us, and wondering why they seem to have "X" things in better situations than we do. God is clear that we should not be envious of sinners, but instead be "zealous for the fear of the Lord all the day". (V*2). We need to be respectful of God and understand that His ways are unfathomably better than our own. When you question why God has blessed other people, and has not given you the same blessing in a similar area - you are basically making an idol of your own judgment and placing yourself on a pedestal that doesn't exist. Trust that an infinitely more knowledgeable being, the God who is your Creator, has made a sound decision and would not suggest for you to constantly compare yourself to others. How can we envy sinners, when we know that if Gods' word is true they will surely suffer serious consequences and judgment? Are we doubting God when we mistakenly think that the "grass is greener on their side of the fence."?
I know that I have failed and the lesson of combining the truth with a considerable dose of grace is something most of us could use improvement on. I know that there have been times where I have not shown my fellow brothers and sisters the grace and love that Jesus would have surely shown them. Let's not be so quick to stomp on their toes, and instead correct them in a manner that they might not be quick to spurn. Additionally, on the other side of that token, there are those of us who need to refer to the reality of God's word and not side step the facts with blind love and sympathy. Let's embrace that there is clearly a place for both and we need to express and incorporate each of them accordingly. Finally, let's try to see the underlying truth and grace that our friends might be trying to show us, and consider that even those that criticize us may have some real points to consider for our own long-term benefit. As it says in Proverbs 27:5, it is better to be openly rebuked [criticized] than to be loved by someone with ulterior motives. (V*3). Too many of us enjoy the flattery of people that we think are complimenting us, and fail to listen to the accurate criticisms of our real friends who may actually have good points.
With that said, I myself want to aim to constantly improve on the balance of truth and grace in my reactions and try not to react in a detrimental manner due to the heat of a moment or anger. Let's aim to be tactful, respectful, and honest with our family, friends, and even those we might even consider enemies. (V*4). It will always be easy to love those that love us back, but Jesus made it clear that it is important to show His love to people that may be difficult to do so with. The challenge to love and pray for our enemies is very real, and many of us both Christians and non-Christians sometimes find this kind of reaction almost impossible to employ in any practical way. Let's pray that God empowers us to overlook more of the wrongdoings that typically take us over the edge, and try to instead allow some of the things that would typically make us furious to be used as opportunities to show off for God. As Christians it is a fact that the Holy Spirit dwells in us, and I know that what may seem impossible based on human standards is perfectly realistic in God's grace.
God bless you with the desire and inner-conscience to seek His help daily in all the areas we could all use some assistance with. Without God it may be impossible to demonstrate this kind of patience, understanding, and love - but I know that we are all capable because Jesus gives us the strength! (V*5).
- Victor Nunez
V*1 - "Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, "let me remove the speck from your eye"; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Matthew 7:1-5 (NKJV)
V*2 Do not let your heart envy sinners, But be zealous or the fear of the Lord all the day; For surely there is a hereafter, And your hope will not be cut off. Proverbs 23:17-18 (NKJV)
V*3 Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Proverbs 27:5 (NKJV)
V*4 "You have heard that it was said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust." Matthew 5:43-45 (NKJV)
V*5 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:37 (NKJV)